Tale of the Irish Sausage
  
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't
have a lot of money between them, they could only
raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out
with one large sausage.

Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any
money left at all!"

Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two
pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much
trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"

Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a
plan, Cheers!"

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick
the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees
and put it in your mouth."

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them
out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and
more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I
can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are
killin'me!"

Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the
sausage in the third pub.  

he he me like! and i delted the 2nd post : )

keep the jokes coming..its a slow friday

Remind me to stay away from Irish sausages in that case!

How do you sink a irish submarine... knock on the door..
What you do with a irishman throws a nade at you..take the pin out and throw it back
what you call a prosatutue with no arms/legs... ? cash and carry
what you call a pros with white eyes? full up

old classics

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
he walked in; she turned and said,
"You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes lit up and he thought,
"This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards, she said,
"Thanks",
and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,

"What was that all about?"
She explained,

"The egg timer's broken!"