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Bodybuilding Forum    General Boards    Pointless Banta  ›  How to shower.. Moderators: muscle_ave, bigkeiko, mesomorph, Tankuk
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Jonny05
February 8, 2008, 3:43pm Report to Moderator

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How To Shower Like a Woman







  Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.



  Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.



  If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



  Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.



  Get in the shower.



  Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and  pumice stone.



  Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 Added vitamins.



  Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.



  Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint



  Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.



  Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.



  Rinse conditioner off hair.



  Shave armpits and legs.



  Turn off shower.



  Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.



  Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.



  Get out of shower.



  Dry with towel the size of a small country.



  Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.



  Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.



  If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.





   How To Shower Like a Man



  Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor



  Walk naked to the bathroom.



  If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.



  Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.



  Get in the shower.



  Wash your face.



  Wash your armpits.



  Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.



  Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.



  Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.



  Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.



  Wash your hair.



  Make a Shampoo Mohawk.



  Wee.



  Rinse off and get out of shower.



  Partially dry off.



  Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.



  Admire willy size in mirror again.



  Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.



  Return to bedroom with towel around waist.



  If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo'

sound again.



  Throw wet towel on bed.



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YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.

IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.
IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
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Tankuk
February 8, 2008, 3:48pm Report to Moderator

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That is soooo like me   nice one that brought a smile to my face!
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Jonny05
February 8, 2008, 3:52pm Report to Moderator

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i get spamed this stuff at work all day by my hard working college's! thought i would share! haha!  


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.

IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.
IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
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bikerjo
February 8, 2008, 3:55pm Report to Moderator

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That is oh so true....lol
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marc22
February 21, 2008, 8:58pm Report to Moderator
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That was cool i liked that.
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