The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths
I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Yours Sincerely, P. Niss...

The Response:

Dear P Niss:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Yours Sincerely, V. Gina

I need a raise.. and more working hours! doesnt help im single now  

aaahhh dont have a violin in my bag sorry.    lol

pfft women!  plenty in the sea for me!  

bless  . You having a good day, im so bored. off to the gym in a bit.

yeh not a bad day, had a massage while at work by the physio staff and now chilling be4 lunch so not bad! hehe. u ?

Up  here in Co. Durham, wind, rain and cold! Going to gym this afternoon to see if gentle exercise will help hamstring. Bored just sitting in the house.

Hi Jon,

cold, wind and rain, not good. !!!! tell me about being bored. Im at work and bored
stiff.

Tank : massage, could do with one of them. U shouldnt enjoy them sooooo much. sounds like you have it made, "just chilling b4 lunch" Man of leisure aye....!!!  lol.

Well im off to the gym do a bit of cardio !!!!!

Im very laid back i get a massage once a month or so.. had two this week but was due to a pulled muscle in my back..excuses excuses hehe!

Frigin raining now and being dragged into town tonite.. might post pics of the horid night out urgh..

Quoted from Tankuk

Im very laid back i get a massage once a month or so.. had two this week but was due to a pulled muscle in my back..excuses excuses hehe!

Frigin raining now and being dragged into town tonite.. might post pics of the horid night out urgh..

Laid back being the right way to put that one. Yeah heard them excuses...lol...... but
hay why not especially if it makes your pulled muscle feel better.
Look forward to the pics if you post some, i was gonna go out tonite but cant be arsed and dont want to have the extra calories from drinking (how bad is that!!!)

Ha i hear you there.. I hardly go out.. went out like 3-4 times last year.
All my mates..well mostly all are in the forces..and there all back for the weekend..so been getting texts all day saying i cant get out of it1! uhoh..

hows ur day now ?

sounds like a good excuse for a p**s up to me....
bet thats a laugh and a half, i did reserves for a bit, never spent who weekends drunk like that was well funny.

Its rubbish im soooooooooooooooooooooo bored. finish at half four, and back to the gym.
Got to find something to occupy my brain its driving me potty  

Hmm deff WONT be posting pics of the weekend lol.. it was a good night out.. and to make it better..a young lady came back to mine after to *talk*  

Week off work this week woo! how was ur weekend jo

Glad to hear you had a good wkend. Shame about the pics.


Came back for a TALK    mmmmmmmm
I didnt need to know you have the whole week off either.............. are you doing
anything good ???

Weekend was good, not impressed with the 4.5lb i put on after a cheat day.  

You need to know everything i say because im special  

What was your cheat meal? anything nice?   Im sure its just added water and what not. Plus nothing a good workout wont solve!

I might post some pics.. just uploaded them on photobucket thingy!